The best and the worst.

A time in life when you cannot decide that what happened to you was the best thing that happened or the worst thing.
Dilemma takes over to such a state that you are in a position where you just want the same person to show you,to tell you what’s wrong and what’s right.

But , you do not have that strength to ask for. Hurt to such depth that you do not want to ask for. Pain kills . You start hating that person but that soft corner doesn’t go so easily.
It’s just like two people on your shoulder .The angel and the Devil of you.
The angel knows it’s good for you to stay away and the devil says to get back.

The worst thing in the world is when you don’t even know the reason for all this.

Life is a basket that has all the kinds of fruits in it, the one you like the one you hate ,the one that makes you healthy and the one that spoils.

Choosing the right ones is an important aspect. And we usually select the attractive ones no matter how sour they are from inside.


The Tom boy hostel life.

Every one dreams of living in hostel for once in their life. Thinking about all that fun that happens in the closed rooms with loud music and crazy laughter coming out of the doors.


The messy room stuffed clothes and books,laptops and headphones,lipsticks and creams, and sexy girls wearing minimal clothes and the messy bed off course.


(Coz this is about a girls hostel)
It’s not that it’s fun all the time ,there are boring rooms when u literally having nothing to do than stare at the celing,nothing to talk to ur room partner though and finally u end up shopping something you do not need and then a dialogue is sure shot to come.. Paisa he Nai hai yaar…


But u also have beautiful evening not at the pub or disc but in the room when u just have nothing but to laugh at stupid topics.
Those crazy evenings when u give advice to other on relationships.
U have those stupid evenings when u search for something horror and end up screaming and shouting band kar band kar.
Those 10000000000…. of selfies which never get uploaded.

All those banging of doors and sitting in the washroom for long to tease others.
It’s a different life all together.
It’s crazy
It’s fun
It’s amazing experience
It’s life moments to remember for ever.




Men will never understand how a women feels.. when they get that freedom to go anywhere Anytime…. but a women cannot… and that’s because of the men out there… how jealous I feel .. when I seen a male friend of mine going out in the midnight…but I cannot… just coz am a women.. they will never understand how it feels to hold on the feeling to go out and enjoy the freedom u deserve…the freedom that’s Ur right… I hate this world because of this bias..and it’s created by us only…fact, truth, unacceptable … frustrating ,irritating but helpless.


Some one some where knows what i feel..may be not here some where far but i know that one person exactly can understand what i go through.people near can never understand why u cry nor do i expect them to understand because they will never feel as i feel…life is so confusing…the near one are not loved because…because u know them…u know that they will not understand u..that inner feeling tells you that…but the ones who are far no matter what…u know their true faces…. u love them because u feel the intimacy… the connection…but some times u just need to let go…just recently read some where which meant…ur today is something that ur strong feelings at some long term of ur life u wanted… so true….what we carve for without knowing the consequences …without know how it would actually be…u just need that …and now.. when u get it……i just regret…mistakes of my life…. so well said that u understand a persons value only when they are gone…and now when am so far away…not only the distance but the mental gap….i understand…watever it was ..was for me..was mine… no point in standing connected but lonely…independence is not easy…it needs a lot of strength..inner strength..else ur gone.. season of depression is on…right from the time life takes a all feels a dream…fortunate,unfortunate…but it all feels a dream…like it just happened and u dint even realize…it all happens because you dint expect it…u never thought of t..u never wanted it 2 happen…. depression…no cure…Dont know what has to be done…music crap friends crap nothing works….realization….trying to keep mind busy..NO CHOICE LEFT no options….


We all know the importance of our great male family or poor family. . Every family needs male child. . The great dominance of a male in the family. . The son who will take forward the whole family. . Bull Shit in todays world. . Absolutely needed beti bachao . . A live example . . As a women who walked in my house ,the women who used to work in my house while i was a small kid . . Now she’s grown old. . She’s got a fledged family of husband,5 SONS and  a daughter…but now her situation. . She lost her husband few years ago. . And her great 5 sons left her too. . Made their own houses with their wives and children..her daughter too got married years ago and went to her husbands place. . In todays world of super deluxe expenses luckily she’s got a house on her own name where she lives all alone at this of 60+…they don’t even give her monthly expenses..her daughter comes once in a while to look after her mother and gives her some money..what a life she must have imagined when she gave birth of 5 sons..her daughter is the one who sends her some money,gave her a cellphone,calls her some time..And now her sons envy her..the one fight and ask their mother to sell of the house in which she lives and share the money among her sons..
Need more sons?
This is only one example. . So many more must be in every chol of India..
The great sons who are just taking forward your blood not you..
Daughter is the one who will look after you,may be she will Go away to some1 else’s home but she will never leave you.
And this is not the story of only small houses. . The stories behind the walls of big houses also revolves around the same thing.. Son will come to look after your assets during your last breath, but daughter will be there to look after you till your last breath.


When every1s enjoying am busy struggling with my life. . Crying each day. . Regretting things. . I shouldn’t have done. But what actually in my life did i do? That’s a big question . . Most of the things i did may be as fun i regret them . . I don’t regret few things but i regret leaving them to… I watch every1s pictures on fb ,instagram ,what’sapp dp, twittering. .  Etc etc. .  some wit pets which i don’t have. . Some partying which I’ve not done,some drunk which i don’t do,some abroad which i haven’t been,some wearing sexy dresses posing which am not doing. . Then what am i actually doing? What is my life all about?i don’t understand. . .its such a fluffy plumpy clumsy confusion. . Which I can’t bump into . . Am out here not going out there sitting in this gloomy stupid room with all my stuff here and there with this stupid phone doing NOTHING. but why?
And i really don’t know
WHY. . .


Its all about time.Its just time that changes everything,literally EVERYTHING.Its not that we stop loving caring or being that good person we used to be ,its just that you transform..You transform into something more better and that what makes a difference in you as well as others connected to u.Time teaches us a lot of it.We develop,we know what has changed,what time taught us.In my life it was a change when i moved out of my home for the very first time …to stay all alone…among-st strangers…but then when time passes you realize that, you never realized how everything that was so strange to you turned out to be so familiar.Time also changed something so important to me…it changed my friends,some yet the same but some never bothered ,but the lucky part for me was that i found some friends who were really so dam similar to those old friends.Its not that you should text or call daily,its just that keep them in your heart.Time has changed so very much that i don’t blame those who don’t text me because neither do i,it its a busy life out there but there’s always that one moment when something such happens that,that old friend of yours is remembered may be because you’ve shared a similar moment with them or may be when u feel that in that moment they would be the best to help if (if they where wit you) is wen you truly remember them by heart and taking out 5 min to make them know that they are remembered is what to be done.It may even be that when you need a help and only that time you text them but that doesn’t mean that you need them only when you have work ,but it means that you trust them and believe that nobody better could help you at that moment.As said time changes everything,it changes people,it changes their feelings for u,so rather letting them go is a better option.




Life changes,but memories stay.